Sources

Chapter 4

Sara's heart beat wildly in her chest as she and Brass approached Mandy's hospital room. She took a second outside the door to try pasting a fake smile on her face. It was then that she heard a voice so familiar it made her smile for real.

"No, you're not doing any tests until I see Sara Sidle. That's S-A-R-A, no H. I am not letting you near me unless she's here. Hey, what did I just say? You better back off, needle-nurse! Sara's trained in self-defense, and she'll hurt you if she sees you stabbing me. She's got a gun, too. A real one."

Sara walked in with her arms folded, unable to hide her grin. "Are you harassing the nurses, Man?"

"Sara!"

When she saw the person looking back at her, Sara's smile faded instantly. Mandy's face was contorted with angry bruises, her right arm was in a sling, and a thick white brace surrounded her neck.

"Sara, I swear, it looks worse than it is. I'm fine, really."

A nurse stood next to the bed, holding a full syringe and looking tiredly at Sara. "Maybe you can convince her to let me give her this? She needs to rest, she's been throwing a fit since she got here."

Sara nodded. "You do need sleep, Mandy. It will help the healing process go faster."

Mandy made an irritated motion with her hand, as if to shoo away a fly. "I haven't seen you in six years, Sar. Six years!"

"Then another few hours won't make a difference," Sara said soothingly. "Sleep is the best way to relieve that facial bruising. We don't want to scar that pretty face, do we?"

Mandy managed a lopsided grin. "Using vanity against me? You should know better than anyone, I don't have a lick of vanity!"

Sara nodded in concession. "Do it for me, then?"

A loud sigh told her she'd found Mandy's weakness. Sara smiled at the frazzled nurse. "You can go ahead and give it to her. needle-nurse." Mandy laughed drowsily, her breathing becoming more regular until she was fast asleep.

Sara sat by the bed for a while. At first she just stared, assessing the damage that the beating had done. Then, when Mandy started to whimper from a nightmare, Sara grasped her uninjured hand firmly, murmuring quietly to her until she settled back down. A nurse came in to check Mandy's monitors, and Sara walked out into the hallway.

Who did this to her? she wondered angrily. She sank into a chair, suddenly exhausted.

Grissom stepped off the elevator and saw Sara at once. She was slumped forward in a chair in the hallway, reminding him of how he'd found her after her DUI. She didn't notice him squatting down next to her, and when he put a hand on his shoulder she flinched and looked up in alarm.

He frowned. "Sara, it's me."

She relaxed slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"I just. you looked upset. I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Sara shook her head, jabbing her thumb toward the room behind them. "Does she look okay to you?"

Grissom peered into the room and saw Mandy. When she looked up to meet his eyes, she found them full of sadness. He sat down next to her and took her hand, surprising them both. "Who is she?"

A tear rolled down Sara's cheek. "I, uh." she stammered, then took a deep breath, looking at her hands in her lap. "I was put in a foster home when I was fourteen. Mandy was in the same home. I arrived right after she did"

She shuddered slightly. "Our foster parents, the Thompsons. they weren't very nice. They were looking for a paycheck and didn't care much what happened to us. Mandy was this tiny little six-year-old with giant blue eyes who trusted me." Sara tilted her head, lost in the memory. "I couldn't remember anyone ever having trusted me. She'd hold my hand and be completely confident that nothing bad would happen if I was around."

Grissom stroked her hand gently. He hadn't known any of this part of Sara's past, and wondered how she was able to keep so many secrets locked inside her. "Go on," he urged softly.

"One time I went to pick her up at school, and she dragged me over to meet her teacher, introducing me as her sister." Sara smiled. "It stuck. We became each other's family. My brother was off living his own life, my father was dead, and my mother was in jail. Mandy became my whole world."

"What happened when you went to college?"

Sara stiffened. "It was the hardest decision I'd even had to make. Choosing between Mandy and Harvard. By this point she was ten, and had become this real spitfire. She told me she could handle it, that I needed to do what was right for me. So I went."

Her head dropped lower, and the tears started again. Grissom dropped her hand and put his arm across her shoulders. She allowed herself a moment to revel in his closeness, then continued shakily.

"When I was a sophomore, Mandy wrote to tell me she'd been removed from the Thompson home. Rob had gotten angry one night and beaten her up. Broke a couple of ribs, gave her a concussion. She was in and out of homes until she turned eighteen. There was just something about her that made men want to hit her. She was little and beautiful, but completely independent. Made no secret of the fact that she didn't need them. They'd try to beat her into submission. She didn't tell me this until later. She knew that if I'd found out about the abuse, I would've dropped out of school and tried to get custody of her. She didn't want that, she wanted me to do well."

Grissom nodded. "Did she go to college too?"

Sara beamed with pride. "Yeah, she did. She got a full academic scholarship and put herself through school. The last time I saw her was at her college graduation. I couldn't believe it when I saw her. Somewhere along the way she'd stopped being that little girl and blossomed into this. woman."

Grissom took a deep breath. "Do you know who could have done this to her?"

Her eyes flashed with anger. "Probably whoever she's dating."

He understood. "She's drawn to abusive men."

She nodded. "It's not unusual. You grow up being treated a certain way, you come to expect that treatment. We all struggle with it."

Sara felt him freeze, and looked up at him. His jaw was tight as he said, "Hank hit you?"

"Oh no, he never laid a hand on me," she said. "But he was seeing someone else at the same time."

She looked at Grissom coolly, standing up. "My problem is that I'm drawn to men who don't value me. But then, you already knew that, didn't you. First-hand."

Sara turned and walked back into Mandy's room, missing the agonized expression on Grissom's face. He sat in the hallway for several minutes, thinking about what he'd just heard, and thinking about what had happened four months ago. If only I could turn back time.