Sources

Chapter 34

"Whoa, there, pretty lady," Greg said, taking in the visage of a beaming Sara. "I hate to say it, but dating that old guy agrees with you. You're glowing."

She shrugged, blushing slightly.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're not. uh. glowing for another reason, are you?"

"Bite your tongue!" she yelped, slapping the back of his head.

"I still can't believe the two of you have been together for three months. You had us snowed. What about Lisa, did she know?"

Sara bit back a smile. "It's a code, Greggo. Lisa Sader is an anagram of Sara Sidle."

"Oh. I get it. So is. uh. Arid Seals."

She looked at him in disbelief. "Um. true, I guess."

He smirked triumphantly. "Yeah, I know. I'm not just a pretty face."

Walking by the break room, Warrick caught sight Sara and stepped inside. "Hey, girl, thought you had the week off. Couldn't stay away?"

"I'm filling in for Nick tonight. He's got a bad cold." At Warrick's dubious expression she chuckled. "I know, I was suspicious too until I saw him. It's pretty gross. Mandy's trying to get him to see a doctor, but you know how he is."

"There's not much doctors can do for colds," Greg affirmed, sitting down at the table with a crossword puzzle. "Plus, what we think are colds are often just allergies flaring up."

A light went on in Sara's head. We said we wouldn't tell anyone, but technically I won't be. "I read an interesting article about allergies the other day," she said casually, catching Warrick's eye.

"Oh yeah? What was it about?" he asked, the shadow of a smile playing about his lips.

"Well, it said that allergies to ragweed pollen can actually be genetically predetermined, passed on through the Y-chromosome. Babies can come out of the womb with a ragweed gene."

Greg watched in confusion as Warrick's face lit up. He looked back at his crossword puzzle, then widened his eyes, writing RAGWEED GENE in the margins. Crossing out letters and moving them around, he revealed the message: "We're engaged."

Sara and Warrick were walking out of the room, whispering to each other.

"Sara, wait!" Greg called. "There's something I need to tell you!"

She turned. "What?"

"Um." he thought frantically. "A taco turns Gil on."

"A taco?" She stared at him. "Grissom likes Mexican food as much as the next guy, but I don't think it turns him on. And since when do you call him Gil?"

Warrick laughed deeply, slinging an arm around Sara's shoulders. "Sar, I think we've found ourselves another Boggle competitor."

"You're sure this is okay?" Mandy knit her brows in confusion as Grissom pulled the steel bar onto their laps.

"Oh yeah," he assured her. "It was just a mild concussion, and that was days ago. Plus, this ride doesn't even have loops."

The roller coaster car began its slow ascent, creaking loudly. As it reached the top, Grissom let out a whoop of anticipation. Mandy squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath as the car plunged toward the earth.

"God, that was worse than skydiving," she gasped after the car had rolled to a stop. "It sounded like the tracks were about to collapse."

She glanced to her side. Grissom's face was deathly pale.

"Sir, are you all right?" The attendant pulled their bar up, looking nervous. "You don't look so hot."

"I'm fine," Grissom growled through gritted teeth. He stood to leave, then swayed with dizziness.

Mandy grabbed his arm, leading him off the ride and toward a bench. "Come on, let's sit you down."

Grissom sat heavily, clutching his head in his hands. "Okay, so maybe it wasn't a good idea after all."

Digging through her purse, she produced some Tylenol and a bottle of water. He swallowed the pills with a grimace. They sat quietly, waiting for Grissom's headache to subside.

He cleared his throat. "I keep meaning to ask, how are you liking the lab?"

"It's nice," she said with a smile. "Very different from pharmaceuticals. Higher stress, lower pay. But I sleep better." A month earlier, she'd started working in Trace. Between her graduate degree in chemistry and a work ethic that made Sara and Grissom look like slackers, they'd been thrilled to get her.

The amusement park crowd was thinning out as dusk settled. They watched as a young boy bobbed like a balloon, riding on the shoulders of his father.

"So," she said conversationally. "Sara seemed pretty touched by your stunt the other day."

He looked at her quickly, trying to figure out whether she knew about the engagement. "Stunt?"

"You know, the whole Where's Grissom bit. I think she was relieved to know she wasn't the only one pining away all those years."

Grissom nodded. In recent weeks, he'd made an effort to spend more time with Mandy. He knew it was important to Sara that they get along with each other. Plus, Mandy had insights into Sara's psyche that he found invaluable. "So, how do you think I'm doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"With Sara?"

"Yeah. I've been taking your advice, trying to be more open with her. No secrets. Is it working?"

"I think so," Mandy said, thoughtful. "When you guys got back, she seemed more. settled. Secure. So yeah, I'd say it's working."

Grissom let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "It'll take some time before I'm used to talking about my feelings. But if it makes Sara feel better, it's worth it." He nodded decisively. "No secrets. It's the best way."

She was silent, and when he turned to look at her, he saw indecision written across her face. "What if telling the secret would cause the person more heartache in the long run?" she asked, her voice shaky. "Then isn't it better not to tell them?"

"Mandy, what's going on?" His voice was gentle.

She fidgeted, clasping and unclasping her hands. "Well, about. I don't know. a year or so ago, I was living in L.A. I was still in that, you know. self-destructive phase."

He nodded. "Choosing the wrong men."

"Yeah. I had a knack for it. I could walk into a bar and it was like I had radar in my head that drew me to the angriest, most wrecked man in the place. So this one night, I went into Brewster's. And right away, my radar went off when I saw an older guy at the bar."

She stared at a couple of teens sharing cotton candy and laughing.

"Mandy?"

Startled, she blinked. "Sorry. So I slid onto a stool next to the guy, making sure he could see how short my skirt was. But he didn't react. He just stared into his glass, looking broken. Normally, I'd have left it alone and found someone else. But there was something about this guy. I felt a connection with him, like I'd known him forever. And we hadn't even spoken yet."

Grissom swallowed hard. "Please tell me this story doesn't end with you wanting to leave Nick for the L.A. guy."

She glared at him until he threw his hands up in surrender. "Nicky's the best thing that's happened to me since I met Sara," she said furiously. "Don't even say such a thing."

"Then who are you afraid of telling this story to?"

"Let me finish," Mandy said, looking away. "So I asked him what a nice guy like him was doing in a place like Brewster's, and he said he wasn't nice. Which is just what I liked to hear from guys at that time, but he said it differently. Like he despised himself. And then the floodgates opened up."

"He started crying?"

"No, not like that. He started talking. Wouldn't stop. Asking if we were all doomed to commit the same sins as our parents. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, but that having a bad parent doesn't make you bad. It wasn't a line, either, I meant it. He just shook his head and said he'd sinned worse than either one of his parents, that he was worthless. A complete failure as a human being."

A voice came over the loudspeaker, announcing the closing of the amusement park. Grissom and Mandy rose, slowly making their way to the exit.

"I asked him what he meant, and he said he'd abandoned the one person he should have taken care of, the one person who needed him, just because he was selfish and afraid. I figured he must have an illegitimate kid out there that he'd left. I told him that kids are resilient, but he didn't want to hear it. Opened up his wallet, threw some money on the counter and left. But not before I saw his ID."

Grissom shook his head in confusion.

Her eyes were cloudy. "His name was Sander Sidle."

They reached the car, and stood there awkwardly. "What should I do, Grissom? Should I tell her? Does she deserve to know, or will it just upset her?"

He stared at the lights on the Ferris wheel, still spinning in lazy circles. "Don't tell her," he said finally. "I'll take care of it."