Sources

Chapter 18

This is not going to work.

Grissom was passing out assignments, trying valiantly to keep his mind on the task at hand, but Sara was making that damn near impossible. To be fair, she wasn't looking at him. But she wasn't looking at the file in front of her, either. She was staring at the opposite wall with a faraway look, flushed cheeks, and a smile that smacked of satisfaction.

"So, uh." he struggled to clear his head. "Ca-Catherine, you'll take Warrick with you?"

Catherine's eyes narrowed. "Grissom, you just said Warrick should go with Nick on the Lady Luck DB."

"Ah, he thinks I'm good enough to be in two places at once," smirked Warrick.

Grissom blinked. "No, no, I'm sorry, I-" He broke off his words when Sara unconsciously ran her finger over her lower lip. This is definitely not going to work.

"Hey, Griss, you okay?" Nick looked concerned. "Herb from Day Shift mentioned you were here all day. do you need to catch some shuteye?"

Grateful for the excuse, Grissom shook his head. "No, I'm all right. Nothing a little coffee won't fix. Okay, Cath, you and Greg head over to the Venetian - high roller DB, possible suicide. Sara and I will check out a reported B&E. Everyone, keep me apprised of any developments."

Nick and Warrick, who'd placed a bet earlier on who could make it to the parking lot faster, tore out of the room. Catherine and Greg followed, curious to see who'd win. Grissom chuckled when he heard Nick holler, "Hey, no tripping! There's rules to this, man!"

"Griss?"

He turned to see Sara standing beside him, still looking slightly dazed.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, I zoned out a little. Which case am I on?"

She was clearly trying to act professional, but her dreamy gaze betrayed her. He smiled in spite of himself. "You're with me."

She flashed him a heart-stopping grin. "I'm with you."

As she walked out the door, he could only manage one thought. This has to work.

Grissom had purposely chosen an easy assignment for himself and Sara. The mansion of a vacationing family has been burglarized. Sweep the interiors and exteriors, in and out in a couple of hours. Between Sara's kidnapping and their impromptu makeout session, he figured they had handled as much as they could in a 48-hour period.

When they arrived at the crime scene, Brass was waiting with a grim expression. An ambulance was parked on the side of the road.

"What's going on?" Grissom demanded. "Who called an ambulance? House was empty, you said so yourself."

Brass nodded. "PD canvassed the house, cleared it. Officer Sherry Wallace was posted to keep guard inside, heard a noise, investigated." He lowered his voice, uncomfortable. "Someone sexually assaulted her."

"I'll do the SAE," Sara said evenly. "Once I'm done with that, I'll work on interior evidence collection for the B&E. Chances are the assaulter was the burglar."

As Brass walked back towards the house, Grissom looked at Sara sternly. "You shouldn't be doing a rape exam," he said. "I can get someone else to do it."

"I'm doing my job, Grissom," she replied, annoyed.

"It's too soon," he protested.

"How is twenty years too soon?" she asked incredulously. "Look, I know you just found out about what happened when I was a child, but I've had plenty of time to deal with it. I'm fine. Stop second-guessing me."

She grabbed the rape kit from the Denali and walked toward the mansion in a huff. Brass led her upstairs, through a door and into a bedroom. Officer Sherry Wallace sat slumped over on the bed, her blonde head hung low.

Sara's anger dissipated at the sight of the humiliated woman. "We'll need some privacy," she said quietly to Brass. He nodded and escorted the other officer out of the room.

"Officer Wallace?"

The woman looked up with a numb expression. Her face bore the marks of a beating, and Sara had a sudden urge to run home and hug Mandy again. She swallowed hard.

"I'm Sara Sidle, with the crime lab. I know this is difficult, but I need to give you an exam."

Officer Wallace nodded her consent, and Sara got to work, speaking only when necessary.

Grissom sat behind his desk, Sara in front of it. They were both drained after a long night of evidence collection. Ironically, the criminal hadn't left enough behind in the burglary to be identified - they'd found only a partial print, too small for definite identification. But only one of the possible print holders matched the DNA from the semen Sara had collected. After they arrested him and Office Wallace picked him out of a lineup, he'd confessed.

Sara had watched the policewoman closely during the lineup, but Wallace had maintained her detached professionalism. I just hope she faces it sometime, Sara thought.

"I didn't doubt your ability to do the job," Grissom said, breaking the silence that had settled over his office. "You're one of the best investigators I've ever worked with. I was just. looking to lighten your load on your first night back." She nodded at him, and they fell silent again

"Tell me a secret," Sara said suddenly, surprising him.

"A secret?"

"Yeah." She looked at him intently. "Think about it, Grissom. In the past couple of days you've learned almost all of my secrets. And I still know almost nothing about you. The balance of power is ridiculously tipped."

"You don't want me to have more power than you?" He leaned back in his chair, curious.

"Professionally, you're my boss. There is no power balance. But personally." she trailed off.

"Personally?"

"I feel exposed," she admitted. "You have an access to my life that I don't have to yours."

He shook his head. "Sara, the only access I have to your life is you."

"Not true," she replied. "You can go visit my sister and grill her for information about me. You know my mom, you can call her any time you want and she'll be glad to hear from you." Her voice grew more earnest. "I don't have that. I can't just call up your mom."

"No, you can't."

"So how can I change that?"

"You can't. You can't ever call up my mother." He saw the hurt on her face and rushed to clarify. "Sara, my mom is deaf. She doesn't use telephones."

"Deaf," she repeated slowly. "That's why you know sign language." He nodded, and she laughed, shortly. "You know. I actually went out and took a course in ASL, thinking that you might be going deaf and I'd need it to communicate with you."

He was startled. "Why would you think I was going deaf?"

She shrugged. "You knew how to sign, and sometimes when I spoke to you, you didn't seem to hear me."

Grissom studied her for a moment. "Okay, here's a secret. I was losing my hearing and had surgery to correct it."

Her eyes softened. "That's a start."

"Secrets don't normally come out as rapidly as yours, I'll give you that," Grissom said, leaning across his desk to touch her hand. "I'll share mine with you, I promise. But I'm not going to set them out on my desk like a case file for you to study all at once. Let's just let things come up when they will."

Sara took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay."

"And don't worry about a power balance," Grissom said. "You have a power over me that is unsurpassed."

She smiled at him, then rose. "I should be getting home. Mandy has this grand scheme to hit every photo booth in town and then plaster my walls with pictures of us making funny faces." She rolled her eyes. "If I didn't love her so much, I'd never give in to her crazy ideas."

"I can think of someone who has the same effect on me," Grissom grinned. She looked away, and it finally occurred to him. She never said whether she loves me.

He stood and walked her toward his closed door. When she turned to say goodbye, he leaned over and kissed her cheek softly, whispering in her ear, "I love you, Sara Sidle. God help me, but I love you." He pulled back and gazed at her. She looked at him warmly and nodded, then turned and left.