Sources

Chapter 17

Grissom was still staring at her. Sara's eyes flickered to the clock on the wall behind him. It had been two minutes since she'd told him about asking out Derek, and he was still staring at her, his face a mixture of shock and something else. He looks hurt, Sara realized. How did I hurt him?

Deciding that he must be feeling guilty over not returning her affections, she sighed. Nodding her head toward his office, she rose and walked into the hallway. He followed in a daze, unlocking his door and ushering her in. Sara closed the door behind them, then joined him on his couch.

"Grissom," she began awkwardly, "it's okay. It was time. I was being unfair to you. Not to mention inappropriate. Asking you out twice at work, that's got to be a form of harassment in some states, huh?" She cocked her head wryly.

He continued to stare at her, remembering all the missed opportunities. "So. we're." he said hoarsely.

"Friends," Sara supplied, with what she hoped looked like a bright expression. "God, just think about how well we used to get along, before I... we were good as friends."

He nodded numbly, looking down.

Growing uncomfortable, she stood and walked slowly to the door. She was reaching for the knob when she heard Grissom's quiet voice: "I don't want to be your friend."

His words tore through Sara. She froze, then hung her head. "I screwed things up that bad?"

"Sara." His voice was choked with emotion.

She turned back to look at him, and was surprised to see that he'd come to stand behind her. When she met his gaze and saw the raw emotion in his eyes, she suddenly understood.

"Oh."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "Yeah." Grissom reached up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, grateful that she'd happened to close his door from prying eyes.

Sara felt the blood rush to her head as he slowly stroked her cheek. He feels the same way, she thought giddily. I wonder what happened in the last four months to make him.

She stiffened, and Grissom dropped his hand quickly. "What is it?" he asked.

"This is because of yesterday, because I was in danger," she replied, not meeting his eyes. "Grissom. I appreciate that you were worried - or, concerned - about me, but I think it's impairing your judgment."

"Sara." She looked up to see his eyes shining at her. "Give me some credit." He reached down and took both her hands in his, running his fingertips lightly over her palms. Shivers cascaded down her spine.

"But. but, in the elevator, you said-" She struggled to get a coherent sentence out, but with every stroke of her palm she was feeling more light-headed.

"I know," he sighed. "I wish. Sara, I'd thought you were about to ask me out to dinner again. I made myself answer quickly so I wouldn't be tempted to say yes. If I'd taken the time to hear your question, my answer would have been quite different."

He watched a flicker of doubt cross her eyes. "What would you have said, if you'd heard it?" she asked, pulling away her hands.

This was his chance. He'd rehearsed it a thousand times. He opened his mouth to recite his answer when she suddenly stopped him.

"And don't just give me a quote, Grissom. I'm not asking Shakespeare or Browning. I'm going right to the source and asking you."

"Me?" His brows furrowed. But I had the best quote. My words can't compare.

Sara watched him carefully. When she spoke, her voice shook with vulnerability. "Do you think you could ever love me?"

He searched for the right words. Finally, with a torn expression, he began shaking his head in consternation. "Sara."

She looked away, feeling tears pricking at the back of her eyes.

"Sara, I don't think I could ever not love you." He paused, sighing at how inadequate his response sounded, and stepped away from her. She caught his hand and pulled him back.

His lips were on hers before either of them knew what was happening. He plunged his hands into her hair and pushed her up against the door as she clung to his shoulders. Leaning further into her, he deepened the kiss, and Sara felt her knees weaken. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands moved down her back to fall on her waist. When he pulled away, Sara whimpered, and in an instant he was back, opening his mouth slightly to trail along her bottom lip. She parted her lips and felt his tongue caress hers in a slow, erotic dance.

After several minutes, they stopped to catch their breath. Grissom studied Sara's face, flushed with desire. I do this to her, he thought in amazement.

She studied him back, running her fingers lightly through his hair. A slow grin spread over her face. "So."

He raised one eyebrow. "Yes?"

Sara's dark eyes danced with amusement. "Think I should cancel that date with Derek?"

Grissom descended upon her again, and all other thoughts fled her mind. He kept a firm grip on her waist, and she wondered, If he let go, would I fall? She smiled into his lips, realizing that she'd fallen a long time ago.