Ficlet 2
Shopping for anything with Grissom was usually a pain in the neck.
The man was opinionated, to put it lightly. He had to have a certain brand of fabric softener, and he had to have Cool Ranch Doritos. He didn't like the feel of silk sheets, or the texture of skim milk. He had to drink Vitamin Water after working out, and had to sleep with the air conditioning on.
So when he announced one morning that he planned to accompany her on her search for a plant to go in the spare room, Sara was less than thrilled.
"I'm thinking we should get a fern," he said, as they walked into Kale's Nursery. "Ferns are easy to care for, and they're really quite striking-looking."
"I want a ficus," she announced, moving quickly toward the large plant section. Normally she wouldn't care, but she was premenstrual, and in a particularly stubborn state of mind.
"But a ficus is a tree," he said, darting after her. "We don't have room for a tree-"
"Hi," she said to a nursery employee, smiling charmingly. It didn't hurt that the guy was hot. "We're really interested in buying a ficus."
Grissom sputtered in surprise. "But-"
"That's a great idea," the guy said, ogling her blatantly. "Ficuses are great. Nice, firm trunks."
"Terrific. Can you show us some?"
Grissom followed behind them, scowling.
"Now here's a fine ficus," the man said, stopping by a tall plant. "This one produces figs."
"Ooh, you hear that, Grissom? Figs!" she exclaimed with a knowing look. "Lots of fiber, which you really need."
He was just about to explode with anger when the nursery employee spoke.
"Is this your dad?"
"Oh no," Sara said innocently. "He's my sex master."
The guy blinked. "What?"
"Total stud. Hung like a horse."
"Oh."
"Rides me for hours, till I can't walk straight. Right, dear?"
Grissom's face grew beet-red. "Um."
"We'd like a fern, please," Sara continued sweetly. "And some potting soil."